A Profitable Affair
by VeraSorger
Summary: Q gets bored with his experiments on Picard and the others and tries something on the Original Enterprise. Bringing in a future race ahead of schedule should be interesting, right? But how will this affect the Federation? How bad will the results be?


The Enterprise Original darted through warp speed like an elegant, speeding bullet, her smooth hull protecting all of the loyal occupants inside.

Suddenly, a flash of impossible light appeared and what looked to be a simple man was hurrying along with the ship casually. He didn't seem to realize that he was in space without any form of protection or that he was effortlessly floating along at approximately Warp Three. It didn't bother him at all. In fact, he was whistling an Earth folk tune carelessly.

The Being smiled. He had so much fun playing with the humans and aliens on the future Enterprise, even though some were rather irritating. They were almost always responsive and, he had to admit, sometimes interesting. But lately, he'd been looking for a new twist to the old experiment. Hopefully the crew of the old Enterprise would be just as entertaining. He had the perfect plan too. How would they react to a kind of species that they couldn't even imagine? Oh, he was sure that they wouldn't mind the physical differences- they'd seen other aliens that were not even humanoid. But this special species' unique culture and moral views would be quite different. And this might even turn… profitable for them. He was sure they would react favorably in that regard. This race would test the crew in ways that even he couldn't manage to do. He grudgingly admitted that. And he actually found this special race fascinating. The Enterprise wouldn't know what hit her.

Smirking, the omnipotent life form snapped his fingers. The Enterprise vanished into thin air soundlessly. A moment later, Q disappeared as well, taking the Enterprise deep into the mysteries of space.

* * *

Pavel Andreveich Chekov was worried. He glanced quickly at the man sitting at Helm next to him, his best friend, Sulu. Sulu was well absorbed checking readings and was completely oblivious to Chekov's anxiousness. Sighing, Chekov tapped his foot nervously. He stopped. Then he scratched his chin. He started tapping again.

After fifteen minutes of constant tapping, Kirk was ready to explode in frustration. "Mr. Chekov." He said sharply. "Is something the matter?"

Chekov shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "Ummm. Perhaps, Sir." His Russian accent was slipping out more than usual in his nervousness. Sulu finally noticed and turned to him curiously.

Kirk's eyes narrowed. "Explain, Ensign."

"Well, Sir." Chekov began. "This can't be right, but I've checked for a systems malfunction and it should be working perfectly."

Kirk waved his hand impatiently. "Yes? What is it?"

"Sir. We're not where we were before." Seeing the confused looks of the now rapt bridge crew, he hastened to clarify. "I mean, we aren't traveling at warp 3 to Gamack 4 anymore. We are in an unknown region, Sir."

Confused, Sulu argued. "My console says we are halfway to the Gamack Base. And we are still at Warp Three."

Uhura piped up. "Look at the viewscreen. It shows the moving stars. I don't think we're stopped."

Kirk opened his communicator. "Mr. Spock, please report to the bridge immediately." He turned back to the confused navigator. "Check your console again for malfunctions, Ensign."

Obediently, Chekov turned and quickly typed several codes. Sulu peered over his shoulder curiously.

Kirk straightened in his seat a little. He had really been looking forward to some rest before the negotiations on Gamack 4. Now it seemed like his R&R was in jeopardy. As usual. He rubbed his temples tiredly and eyed the young Ensign feverishly checking systems for possible failures.

The bridge doors opened with a whoosh. His first officer got out with a tilt of his right eyebrow at the peaceful setting instead of the emergency he'd been expecting at a 76% probability rate.

"Yes, Captain?"

"Ahh, Mr. Spock." Kirk began. "Our young Ensign here has a slight malfunction with his console that he can't seem to find."

"No, Sir." Chekov protested. "I've double checked! It's not my instruments."

"He's right, Sir." Sulu confirmed.

"Nevertheless, Mr. Spock," Kirk asked. "Please double check for possible malfunctions in Navigation."

Spock quickly strode across the bridge to the upset Russian and leaned over the console calculatingly.

Kirk's communicator chirped. "Kirk, here."

"Captain?" Scotty's brogue came. "We appear to be stopped. The warp engines are acting very odd."

"How so?" Kirk questioned quickly.

"Well, at first they sped up to beyond Warp Nine, and then they stopped. Did Helm do something?"

"Beyond Warp Nine?!" Kirk asked in utter disbelief. The rest of the bridge crew's attention was firmly fixed on the captain's conversation now. Sulu was shaking his head in confusion and amazement. Chekov looked relieved that it wasn't just him.

"Yes, Sir."

"That's supposed to be an impossibility."

"Yes, Sir."

Kirk sighed and turned off the communicator. "Kirk out."

Silence reigned on the bridge as they waited for the captain's orders.

"Well, where are we then, Mr. Sulu?"

"I don't know, Sir. My console says we are still traveling at Warp Three."

"That's obviously not true!" Kirk snapped.

"Sir, mine says that we are in a previously uncharted area of space. We are a very long way from home. The computer won't calculate exactly." Chekov was grim.

Spock agreed. "He is right, Captain. This is most unusual."

Kirk pondered. He'd always done well when there was action and adventure. But what should he do when his instruments were lying to him and there was no visible enemy? Surely, this was an interesting situation.

Almost everyone gasped suddenly, in amazement, as a brilliant light flashed, leaving them blinded for an instant.

"Hello, Enterprise!" A voice called cheerily. "You may call me God."


End file.
